Ditching Negativity

Ever feel like you just need to say, "bye Felicia" to all the negativity in the world?  

Side note/tangent: Even though that phrase is commonly used, I happen to know 3 Felicia's in real life (the name means happiness), and all three women radiate genuine joy & happiness. So no need to actually say bye to those kind of Felicias  

Back to negativity though...it's no fun. We've all read mean comments from people we know or trolls who dominate Facebook, YouTube, or even local online newspapers. All that hate, racism, biggitory, and downright meanness breeds negativity and steals a little bit of our sparkle every time we read it? Am I right!? 

There are also people in our lives who we can rely on for our daily dose of negativity, complaining, or judgement. Maybe it's a co-worker, a friend, a family member...or worst yet...maybe it's you...and the negativity is breeding in your mind! Ouch! 

I've dealt with my fair share of negative people and emotions. In fact, I went through a period of life where I let the negativity of those around me completely shape my sense of self and the world around me. It's honestly the worst thing ever! I'm constantly reminding myself to not let anyone steal my joy. Easier said than done, tttrrruuusssttt.  

I recently skimmed over an article that talked about how humans scientifically draw energy from each other, just like plants! Plants need energy from water, food, air, sunlight etc and so do we! There was a plant study in the article, where they confined select plants with other plants, and took away their normal energy sources to see what would happen, and the plants started to pull energy from each other in order to survive. This is just like us in social situations. Whether we like it or not, we feed off of the energies of those around us. Good or bad. We often don't think we have a choice. Do you ever leave a social situation (or particular person) feeling absolutely drained because you accidentally fed off or into their negativity? Yuck.  

Do they need your love and time? Yes, of course they do, and likely need it abundantly more than others. It's important that you don't just toss them aside or avoid them completely.  People are bitter and negative for a variety of reasons, but if they're not willing to let you in (or you don't see them changing this behaviour anytime soon) you'll need to protect yourself from future doses of that dreaded negativity.

Here's the thing though, you also need to give yourself permission to take a step back if you find that the negativity is rubbing off on you.  

Below are my personal tips that I've been applying to my life to combat negativity and ditch it in all of its forms. Is it completely unavoidable? Nope. Do I still have negative people in my life? Yep. Am I more prepared to deal with them while protecting myself!? Yes!  

Disclaimer: before I jump into the tips...this doesn't mean that you can never vent or talk about negative things. There is a time and a place to discuss negative life situations. We all need to decompress or get out a good venting session from time to time. Just make sure it's a consensual conversation. Added bonus if you assess the situation and seek positive solutions and restoration after the venting.

Now on to the tips! 

Tip #1. Pray / Meditate. 

Whether or not this is your jam, it totally works. I personally define prayer as talking (to God or the universe or whoever you choose to pray to). The key is the talking portion. Whether out loud or in your head, it's an expression of self. Get it out. Pray for the person, pray for the situation, or even pray for protection for yourself if applicable. I then definite meditation as silence. No talking. Just listening. This is a hard one for me. I'm a talker. Listening and silence are so healing and beneficial. Try it. I dare ya. 

Tip #2. Grounding  

Nature is the best. Nature heals. I truly believe that when God created the world (just my personal belief), he created it with everything we need. I swear by natural medicine in all forms  

Spending time in nature is incredible for those battling depression. Ever notice that rehab facilities are always in nature!? It really does heal!!!

That's why my newest thing to combat negativity is grounding. I'm doing it daily. I think I'll devote another blog post to it and go more in depth with the why and how. It's basically heading outside first thing in the morning, stepping on wet grass, and just walking around barefoot just feeling the blades of grass and soil underneath your feet and between your toes. It's carving out a tiny moment from your morning to soak in your environment and smell the earth (and my dog runs around the yard and does his business too). Try it, you'll love it. Tons of natural physical & mental health benefits. For free!!! Just don't do it if you have one of those pesticide lawns etc. Find the most natural and unadulterated earth space possible. 

Tip #3. Angelia Essential Oil 

Here in Canada, Angelica is recognized as a Natural Health Product. This means that if it is used as directed, it can be a good way to maintain or improve your health. 

I love Angelica because it is a soothing and protecting oil. It helps to create a relaxing environment when diffused (in an essential oil diffuser) or inhaled ( meaning smelled from inside the bottle).  It's also called "oil of angels," because of its calming aroma. Great for kiddos too. 

Angelica essential oil has been known to do the following:  

  • can act as a nervine and calmative which enhances relaxation.
  • to help relieve joint or muscle pain associated with sprains, strains & rheumatoid arthritis.
  • to help relieve headache.
  • when experiencing digestive discomfort can act as a carminative and antispasmodic.
  • to reduce the symptoms of cold & cough.

Bonus: Angelica oil is a great oil to help live up that mantra of "not my circus, not my monkeys," to help boot that negativity once and for all. If you're about to walk into a potentially negative  environment, put a little of this on your wrists or behind your neck and ears.

Tip #4. Make a Declaration

The words we speak over ourselves hold so much power. I've started to do these next two tips every morning before getting out of bed. For this tip, I speak declarations and words of truth over my life. I remind myself that I am blessed, I am loved, and I have value. 

You can even go as far to write them out if you need an extra prompt. When it comes to negativity, we have to learn what to do with it. I'm constantly declaring things like the following: 

"I declare and I decide that any negativity brought to me today will be transformed and used to help me grow stronger, wiser, and better."

Tip #5. Visualization 

This one is difficult for those who aren't naturally dreamers or creatives, but walk through your day in your mind before it happens. I like to visualize myself succeeding in my goal areas for the day. If it's eating healthy, I picture my meal prep and planning, taking my supplements and using my oils. If my brain sees it, I likely do it. On days when i'm too lazy or busy to visualize, my goals honestly slip. I'll reach for a cookie or a Diet Coke instead of apples & almond butter and my Slique tea. What does this have to do with negativity? If we aren't accomplishing things or adhering to our goals, it's easy for us to feel bad about ourselves and negative about the world around us. 

Extra Tip: If you are tired and grouchy, maybe skip visualizing your goals specifically for the day. You don't want your goals to get mixed up with negative emotions or your brain will confuse the two and you'll resent your goals. 

BUT, if you wake up feeling negative and grumpy, visualize what your day COULD look like without that negativity in your life. You have the power to turn your day around! 

I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become - as a woman thinks, so she is.
— Oprah Winfrey